Alone and empty lost and drifting,

always the urge to move on.

No one to worry, care or comfort…

all I ever loved was gone.

I tarried with trouble

and I dallied with wrong.

I grew older but no wiser…

taught myself to be strong.

I met destiny and disaster…

shook hands with hard luck.

I forced a grin on my face

and said “Let ‘er buck.”

*******

Summoned by a strangers plea

I sought to resolve the past.

Found a brother I hadn’t bargained for…

a bond time would prove steadfast.

I gave no credit and showed no faith

expected only scorn and deceit.

Still his soul reached out to mine

refusing to accept defeat.

The suspicion in our old mans eyes

seared and wounded me,

but I swallowed my pride and stayed to fight

for all that my life should be.

*******

Their truths hurt and confused me

so I pushed them away.

I wanted to run

but blood insisted I stay.

Harsh words and hot tempers

deep fears and mistrust.

But love bled me of bitterness

turned my hatred to dust.

I’ve harvested a lifetime

of tears, blood and toil.

Born and now reborn here

on Lancers precious soil.

*******

Now each day is a blessing

the nights peaceful and still.

I’m forever welcome

through summer sun and winter chill.

Now I tarry with peace

and I tally with hope.

I’m older and much wiser

working not with a gun but a rope.

The dark times and ugly memories

the past littered with shame

were all thrust behind me

with the changing of my name.

*******

I’ve come full circle,

found treasures I never new I’d lost.

I’ve grieved for the lost years and heartache

and I’ve counted the cost.

This land is my land,

here I’m building a dream.

I cherish each blade of grass

the rolling hills and clear streams.

A father, brother and family –

I’m the prodigal home at last.

All the wrongs and the wretchedness

lie dead in the past.

 *******

Karen and Nancy @ 2003