The Wooden Spoon
by  Deborah


Just borrowing the Lancer characters.


Scott Lancer watched as his brother Johnny was finishing dinner by taking tortillas and dipping them in what Maria had called salsa.  Murdoch had stepped out for a moment as Teresa had gone to the kitchen to get dessert and coffee.  Scott shook his head.  They had been at Lancer for a month now and Scott still could not believe how much food Johnny could pack away.

Johnny met Scott’s stare and picked up a small shriveled green thing from the salsa and popped into his mouth. 

“Jalapeno.” Johnny said daring Scott holding up another one to his brother.  “Care to live dangerously Boston?”

Scott sighed wondering how bad it could be.  He took it from his brother and ate it.    Barely holding his composure he choked “Excuse me” to Johnny.  He passed Teresa with the desert tray as he strode into the kitchen going straight to the kitchen sink pumping and filling glassfuls of water and pouring them down his throat.  He stood then his head bowed and hands on the counter trying to catch his breath, his mouth, throat and stomach burning.

Maria came to stand beside him a concerned look on her face.  “Patron Scott ..are you well?” she asked with concern.

Scott smiled at her ruefully.  “Jalapeno” he breathed.

Juanito?” Maria asked sharply.  Scott nodded.

“Hmmph”  Maria huffed and left the kitchen carrying a wooden spoon.   She came into the Great Room hearing Johnny’s laughter.

“Juanito! No es divertedo.  Su hermano no se utiliza para tales alimentos picantes.  Él puede estar enfermo toda la noche. Usted no merece a un hermano, como él.  Dejar de actuar como un niño y lo respeto.” (Johnny!  It is not funny.  Your hermano is not used to such spicy food.  He may be sick all night.  You do not deserve a brother such as him. Stop being a child and treat him with respect.)  Maria scolded Johnny and then she whacked him on the back of his head with her wooden spoon and marched back in to the kitchen. 

“Ow”  Johnny said. Teresa giggled as she started serving the dessert.

Scott returned to the table looking uncomfortable and politely refused desert and coffee.  Murdoch rejoined them and he, Johnny and Teresa enjoyed their desert.  Maria came back in with a glass of milk and set it in front of Scott.

“Patron Scott su hermano es un imbécil a veces.” (Your brother is an imbecile at times) Maria said scowling at Johnny and going back to the kitchen.

 Murdoch looked up at Maria’s disapproval.  “What’s going on Johnny?”

“It’s nothing Sir.”  Scott said quickly.  “I’m kind of gullible it seems.”

“Johnny?”  Murdoch growled.

“I got Scott to eat a jalapeno and Maria came out here and lit into me and hit me on the head with her damn wooden spoon.” Johnny said trying to defend himself.

“She was really angry Scott.”  Teresa said smiling.  “I’ll tell you what she said later.”

Murdoch shook his head.  “That was a dirty trick, son.” he said to Johnny with disappointment in his voice.

Scott stood up.  “Listen everyone!!   It was a joke and a good one.  I can take a joke.  So it’s fine.  Now why don’t you finish your desert and coffee and I’ll finish my ……milk”  he said loudly and firmly. 

He sat down and picked up the glass of milk and realized everyone was looking at him in shock at his outburst.  Suddenly everything seemed too funny to him especially Johnny complaining about being whacked on the head with Maria’s wooden spoon.  Scott started to laugh and soon they were all laughing.

Out in the kitchen Maria was cleaning the kitchen as she listened to the Lancer’s laughter.  It was a sound that had been missing from the hacienda for a very long time.  A satisfied smile appeared on her face.


Deborah  12/19/12





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