The Voice of the Future

By Caroline

 

Future?  What future?  This time tomorrow Iíll be dead and I bet thereíre more than a few people whoíll say itís been a long time coming.  So this voice in my head telliní me that the futureís gonna be better than the past donít know what itís talkiní about.  Then again, what have I got to live for?  The only thing keepiní me goiní some days was the thought of revenge, and I didnít even have the guts for that.  I can just hear my old man laughiní when he realized his unwanted wife and half-breed mistake had run out on him.  Thing is, though, I donít understand why he married my mama if he didnít love her.  Not that Iíll ever get the chance to ask him. 

There goes that voice again.  Why the hell canít it leave me alone?  It ainít as if Iím scared of dyiní.  Hell, deathís been chasiní me since I was a kid.  Always knew it would catch up with me one day.  I wonder what itís like Ė Lancer?  Mama said it was real pretty, not like those dry, dusty little villages where I grew up.  But, whatís the point of liviní some place beautiful if youíre not loved and wanted?  Still, it would have been nice to see it.

I reckon itíll be dawn soon.  It feels kinda strange knowiní I wonít see another day.  I wish I couldíve died with a gun in my hand.  Pull yourself together Madrid!  All Iíve got left is my dumb pride and thatíll have to be enough.  Iíll look those bastards in the eye when they pull the trigger and Iíll die knowiní I tried to help some nice people.  Thatís somethingÖisnít it?  Dios!  It has to be.

Future?  What future?

 

The End

Caroline

February 08

 

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