What in Sam Hills is Going On?
by  Becks

Some of the phrases just might sound a bit familiar.  I borrowed them from Yosemite Sam, Bugs Bunny’s pal.  Ain’t mine, just borrowed them for fun and enjoyment.  Excuse the mistakes. They are all mine. (FYI: S:=Scott, J:= Johnny, V:=Val)


S: Well, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten us into… again.

J: Hey, didn’t twist your arm.

S: All right, now what?...     Well?...      … Eh, hum…

J: All right! Don’t rush me. I’m a-thinking… and my head hurts.

S: As it should, after half a bottle of tequila and…

J: Stop breathing on me will ya’!

S: Need some room here.  Can’t believe this mess you’ve gotten us into.

J: Will ya’ just settle down?  I paid my share and I damn well expected to follow through with it.

S: And see it through you did, huh? I suggest you pray brother.

J: We’re in a heap of trouble here Scott, ain’t got time to pray.

S: Tell me little brother, what possessed you to think that you could take him?

J: Ah hell….  it’s getting so a man can’t earn a honest livin’ and take some simple bets on the side without being questioned - why.

S: (chuckle) I can still hear you…’See, I can take it.’… then you were down.

J: Damn if he didn’t give me a right hook and not left to the jaw. Damn fool.  Did we a least make any money?

S:  Don’t know.  Didn’t have time to collect it. As I recall, we were getting ready to RUN!  Like I said, another fine mess….

J:  Will you quit saying that! How do we get down from here?

S: Brother, the question isn’t how, but when.

J: I think he’s real hungry.  I hear growling.

S: That’s your stomach brother.

J: Come to think of it, I am hungry.  Yikes, he swung at us!

S: No brother.  He swung at you.  You’re the one he’s mad at.

J:  Me? Then why are you up here with me?

S: Thought you might enjoy the company.

J:  How considerate of you big brother. (nod)

J:  Hey, I think I can take him.  He looks tired.

S: Well, we did make him run or rather he made us run.

J:  Pesky critter.  Didn’t think him to be so damn sensitive.

S: Kind of reminds me of you.

J: I’m not sensitive to nothing, Scott!

S:  Well then brother, care to explain why you were so passionate about making it back for Murdoch’s dinner plans.

J:  Cuz’ I was hungry is all.  (mumble, mumble)

S: Oh, so it had nothing to do with pleasing our father.

J: Told ya’, jus’ hungry and I thought we’d be home in time for dinner.  Jus’ needed that one quick jab and I would’a had him!   

S: And how was that working for you?

J:  Keep it up and I’ll push you down and let him finish what he started while I run in the opposite direction.

S: Hum, remember, it’s you he’s upset at.

J: Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h, someone is coming.  Damn!

S:  Are we concerned about our reputation?

J: Didn’t know you had a reputation to be concerned over brother.

S: Seems I’ll have one after this and you might be getting a new one.

J:  Ha, ha… damn, it’s Val and that Smithy fellow.

Val stood at a great distance from where the boys were just hanging around.  “Smithy, hurry up and get that dang pet of yours.”

J: Hey Val.  Taking a stroll?

V: Yeah… strolling over here to save your dumb-ass!

S:  See I’m not the only one who….

J:  Stop Scott or I swear I’ll push you down before Smithy can get a rope around that stupid bear of his.

S:  Oh, he’s the stupid one?

J:  That’s it!   Oh, holy shit…  yeow, ugh, uuffph…THUMP!

S: You doing OK there, brother?  Don’t looks to comfortable lying on the ground.  Better curl up in a ball and play dead.

J: I swear….  I’ll never… try to… fight a bear …again…. yuck… argh, damn he stinks!   SMITHY…. Pleeease…phew… hurry.  I swear… he’s start..in’…  to nip at my cheek…ugh.

Smithy, the owner of the Berry Bear the Fighting Champ, was placing a rope round Berry’s neck.  “Better not move, mister.  He might just think you wanna go another round.”

S: Another round? Ha, he didn’t even get his share from the first round.

Smithy latched Berry to the end of the wagon.  “I swear, I still don’t know what riled him up so.  Never seen him go after anyone like that.”

Scratching his chin and still watching from a safe distance, Val snorted a response. “Never thought I’d see anyone take Madrid down in this manner, must be that animal magnetism like charm of yours, Johnny.”  He just held his stomach and laughed at the sight of his friend all curled up in a ball.  Then he remembered he had a message for the boys.

“By the way, Murdoch has your betting money.  He was garbling somethin’ about how he couldn’t wait to see the two of ya’ and hog tying someone to somewhere.”

J:  Ah hell, Smithy just untie Berry let ‘em finish me off!

Val was fully enjoying himself, again. “Hey Scott, I think it’s safe to come down off that tree.”

S: No thank you Val, I think I am safer up here, much safer.






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